Help me!
I'm melting!
I'm melting! Help me! I'm melting!
Boo.
Hold on.
Where does he get those wonderful toys?
- Get in the car. - Which one?
Let's go.
Shields.
How much do you weigh?
About 108, I think.
Hold on.
See that thing on my belt? Grab it.
Whatever you do, don't let go.
No blood.
Who is this guy?
Check his wallet.
- Wait a minute. - What is that?
Some kind of body armor. He's human after all.
Take off the mask.
Shoot her!
Shields open.
You weigh a little more than 108.
- Really? - Let's go.
Stop.
Where are we going?
Be careful.
Bats.
They're great survivors.
- What is all this? - The police have got it wrong.
They're looking for one product.
The Joker's tainted hundreds of chemicals at the source.
Then whole shipments of products would be poisoned.
And we'd all be dead.
No.
The poison only works when components are mixed. Hairspray won't do it alone.
But hairspray mixed with lipstick and perfume will be toxic, and untraceable.
How did you figure this out?
Take that to the press.
I might have some trouble with that.
A lot of people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
He's psychotic.
Some people say the same thing about you.
What people?
Well, I mean, let's face it.
You're not exactly normal. Are you?
It's not exactly a normal world, is it?
Why did you bring me here?
You could have sent that stuff to the press yourself.
You're right.
There is something else you have that I want.
What?
He took the film.
Yeah.
Where have you been? Are you all right? Do you want me to come on over?
No, Allie.
If I bring something to you, can we make the evening edition?
Just barely. Is it hot?
Yeah, it's real hot.
Yeah, bye.
- Copy! - Yes, sir?
A void the following combinations:
Deodorants with baby powder, hairspray, and lipstick.
Safe products are flying in as Gotham City goes on a forced fast.
And all of Gotham is wondering what to make of Batman.
Friend or foe?
I have given a name to my pain...
and it is Batman.
You must possess strength to inflict pain, Bob.
We've got a flying mouse to kill...
and I want to clean my claws.
Sir, Miss Vale called again.
Dare I suggest that your present course of action...
might simply strengthen her resolve?
She is quite tenacious.
You're right about that.
And if I may say so, quite special. Perhaps you could try telling her the truth.
Coming.
Hi.
May I come in?
This is a nice apartment.
Lots of space.
Listen, I came over to...
- clear a few things... - I don't know who you think you are!
- You hurt me. - I know.
I called you and I called you. And you lied! You lied about leaving town.
- Let me tell you why. - Let me tell you!
You invited me out, we went to dinner.
I thought we felt something. And I trusted you.
I even slept with you. I can't believe I did that.
Then you wouldn't return my calls. You must be some kind of jerk.
You're a real nice girl and I like you a lot, but right now, shut up.
I have something I have to tell you.
You know how people have different sides to their personality?
Sometimes...
a person will have to actually lead a different life.
Oh, my God, you're married.
No, I'm not married.
You see...
my life is really...
complex.
All right, listen. You know how a normal person gets up and...
goes downstairs...
and eats breakfast...
and kisses somebody good-bye, and goes to...
a job and, you know.
No.
All right, look.
Vicki, what I'm trying to tell you is...
Hey, it's okay.
- You can tell me. - Okay.
What I'm trying to tell you is...
- I'll be right back. - All right.
Miss me?
Nice place you got here. Lots of space.
Vicki, we really should have a talk.
I'm very upset.
We were having dinner.
I was a man doing well with a beautiful woman.
And without so much as an apology...
you ran off with that sideshow phony.
You know, Vic...
I've recently had a tragedy in my life.
Alicia...
threw herself out of the window.
Oh, my God.
But...
you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
Well, Ms. Vale...
another rooster in the hen-house?
Take thy beak from out my heart.
Bruce?
Bruce Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
Most of the time.
I know who you are.
Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack.
Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people.
I like him already.
You know what the problem was?
He got sloppy. You know, crazy.
He started to lose it. He had a head full of bad wiring, I guess.
Couldn't keep it straight up here.
He was the kind of guy who...
couldn't hear the train until it was 2 feet from him.
You know what happened to this guy, Jack?
He made mistakes.
Then he ended up with his lights out! Now you want to get nuts?
Come on! Let's get nuts!
Tell me something, my friend.
You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
What?
I always ask that of all my prey.
I just like the sound of it.
Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Why is it every time we got company...
somebody always gets in the way?
I'll need a moment alone, boys.
I'm only laughing on the outside.
My smile is just skin-deep.
If you could see inside...
I'm really crying.
You might join me for a weep.
You wouldn't believe it. You really wouldn't.
While you were out entertaining, I've been here finding out about your street corner.
I think your friend Wayne is really screwed up.
More good news.
Here.
Oh, my God!
His parents were murdered in that alley.
That's why he went there.
Poor kid watched the whole thing happen in front of him.
Look at the look on the face.
It was the same in front of City Hall.
What do you suppose something like this does to a kid?
Don't get personal!
Did you get the file on my parents?
It's on your table, sir.
Thank you.
What's on your mind, Alfred?
I have no wish to fill my few remaining years...
grieving for the loss of old friends...
or their sons.
The 200th anniversary birthday gala has been indefinitely postponed.
We simply cannot guarantee public safety...
Joker here.
We got interference. Call the OB unit.
Now you fellows have said some pretty mean things...
some of which were true...
under that fiend, Boss Grissom.
He was a thief and a terrorist.
On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice.
He's dead now, and he's left me in charge.
Now, I can be theatrical...
and maybe even a little rough.
But one thing I am not...
is a killer!
I'm an artist.
I love a good party.
So, truce.
Commence au festival!
And I've got a surprise for Gotham City.
At midnight, I will dump $20 million in cash...
on the crowd.
Don't worry about me. I've got enough.
We are not prepared to discuss any deals.
You heard it, folks, $20 million.
And there will be entertainment.
The big dukeroo. With me in one corner, and in the other corner...
the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City...
Batman.
Can you hear me?
Just the two of us.
Mano y mano.
I have taken off my make-up.
Let's see...
if you can take off yours.
Tell me, kid.
You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?
Let's go!
Let's go, Jack!
See you around, kid.
Thanks.
Hi.
Tell me if I'm crazy.
But that wasn't just another night for either of us, was it?
I mean, we both got to each other, didn't we?
Why won't you let me in?
You got in.
I've loved you since I met you.
But I don't know what to think of all this. I really don't.
Sometimes I don't know what to think about this.
It's just something I have to do.
Why?
Because nobody else can.
I tried to avoid all this, but I can't.
This is how it is.
It's not a perfect world.
It doesn't have to be a perfect world.
I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?
I'd like to.
But he's out there right now.
And I've got to go to work.
Into the air, Junior Birdman!
Missed me!
Yeah! Watch me!
Get them. Take the pictures.
Gotham's greed.
And now, folks...
it's time for, "Who Do You Trust?"
Money, money! Who do you trust?
Me? I'm giving away free money.
And where is the Batman?
He's at home, washing his tights.
Winged battle flies through the night and finds me ready.
Bob. Mask.
Masks! Put them on now!
And now...
comes the part...
where I relieve you, the little people...
of the burden of your failed...
and useless lives.
But, as my plastic surgeon always said, "If you got to go...
"go with a smile."
Oh, my God!
Smylex gas.
He's going to kill everybody!
Get in the car. Get in the car!
Hurry!
My balloons!
Those are my balloons!
He stole my balloons!
Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those things?
Bob. Gun.
I'm going to need a minute or two alone, boys.
Come on, get out of here!
Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch. Come to me.
Darling.
I've got to get you to the church on time.
Yes, sir?
Gotham City Cathedral. Transportation for two.
- Right away, sir? - Five minutes.
- Better make it 10. - Okay, 10 minutes.
All right, let's go, men, let's go.
You men go that way. Rest of you, follow me.
Let's go.
Point those searchlights up at the tower, right now! Move!
It can be truly said that I have a bat in my belfry.
Shall we dance?
You know, without you...
I just wouldn't want to go on.
It's as though we were made for each other.
Beauty and the Beast.
Of course, if anyone else calls you "beast"...
I'll rip their lungs out.
Mr. Joker?
You say such beautiful things.
And you're so powerful. And purple!
I love purple!
Excuse me.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
I'm going to kill you.
You idiot!
You made me, remember?
You dropped me into that vat of chemicals!
That wasn't easy to get over! And don't think that I didn't try.
I know you did.
You killed my parents.
What?
What are you talking about?
I made you, you made me first.
Hey, bat-brain, I was a kid when I killed your parents.
When I say I made you, you gotta say you made me.
How childish can you get?
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
What are you laughing at?
Here, let me lend you a hand.
Lend you a hand.
They don't make them like they used to!
Hey, Batsy!
There he is! Down there! Go down!
It's time to retire.
Feel free to drop in.
Sometimes I just kill myself!
Come on.
Hold on!
Our police have rounded up all the Joker's men.
The reign of crime is over.
Public safety in Gotham City is no longer a laughing matter.
Aren't you covering this press conference?
No.
What about our Pulitzer Prize?
What about us?
What about your picture of Batman?
Take care, Allie.
We've received a letter from Batman this morning.
"Please inform the citizens of Gotham...
"that Gotham City's earned a rest from crime.
"But if the forces of evil should rise again...
"to cast a shadow on the heart of the city...
"call me."
Question. How do we call him?
He gave us a signal.
I thought champagne would be in order, ma'am.
Hi, Alfred.
Mr. Wayne told me to tell you...
that he might be a little late.
I'm not a bit surprised.